L&D Early Summer Report

The Materialists ***  I think you will enjoy going to this movie and talking about it with your friends. I don’t think this is a terribly good movie, but it does have a lot to say about life in the Big City, much of which is probably true. Lucy (Dakota Johnson) is a professional matchmaker for Manhattanite-types that can afford professional matchmaking services. Harry (Pedro Pascal) is a zillionaire “unicorn” (a perfect match for pretty much any female looking) and John (Chris Evans) is a bumbling idiot from Lucy’s past. There is a lot of “math” in this movie — for men the key addends are height and income, for women being young and rail thin (say, BMI < 20, not ≤ 20). The movie is billed as a rom-com, but I didn’t find it terribly funny (though there were several amusing sight gags). Does that make it a drama? There is definitely a meditation on how financial resources — or the lack thereof — shape life’s possibilities, especially in New York. There are some interesting exchanges and conversations throughout, but some baffling plot elements that are worth at least one *  off.

The Phoenician Scheme *** Wes Anderson’s latest features Benicio del Toro as an industrialist and international man of mystery, Mia Threapleton as his daughter and would-be heir (or perhaps his heir and would-be daughter, tough to say), and with Michael Cera as the traveling secretary, Bjorn. The cast is also littered with supersars, Jeffrey Wright, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Willem Dafoe, F. Murray Abraham, and, of course, Bill Murray. Unfortunately, there aren’t many writers that can support that kind of cast, and this is no exception. I saw this a few weeks ago and couldn’t tell you the main takeaway from the movie, though I can recount a half dozen amusing moments and scenes. As per always, Anderson makes it clear who is directing with the set pieces and the props and the deliberate, sharp color schemes. If you are an Anderson fan, this one is a no brainer. If I was in the market to re-watch an Anderson movie, this one would be at least five or six deep in the queue.

Bride Hard ½* Ostensibly a Die Hard spoof set at a ritzy wedding, this one falls flatter than Hans Gruber from the top floor of the Nakatomi Plaza. Within the first minute of watching I sensed I was in for a long evening. Rebel Wilson in the lead has a couple of moments (using curling irons as nunchucks gave us a moment), but what appears to be a pretty talented cast (Wilson, Anna Chumsky, Da’Vine Joy Randolph) wasn’t enough to overcome a bad script and lazy writing. L liked it quite a bit more than I did, and my estimated rating for him is .

F1 ***, ***½ if you see it on the big, big screen. This is a summer action film, big stars (Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem), loud music, rumbling cars, some reasonably strong plot lines. Not that strong, though. Mostly, but not entirely, predictable. If you are looking for two hours of extraordinary film production from Daytona to Budapest to Belgium to Abu Dhabi and back again to Baja, then this one is a good choice.

The Brutalist

The Americans Dream?

Listen to me. Everything we see that is ugly- stupid, cruel, and ugly.  Everything is your fault…

But especially the ugly.

That is the best punch line of The Brutalist, Director Brady Corbet’s epic exploration of the Affluent Society.  It is also, arguably, the thesis of the film.

I loved watching this film on the very big Marcus screen.  People often say this about movies shot in Montana or Australia, big landscapes, blue skies, astonishing weather fronts, that sort of thing.  Remarkably in The Brutalist, many of these landscape views are scratchy stock film from the ’50s heralding the post-WWII industrial boom.  The stock film is often co-narrated by the guy from the school movies of your childhood, and backed by the gasp of an accordion, or some pulsing, syncopated beats. 

Meanwhile, much of the main action is shot with what is — gosh, I don’t know, where is L when you need him? — maybe a hand-held camera?  The effect is this disorienting and sometimes suffocating intimacy that pervades the movie.  There were times where I swear I could see two sets of eyes on characters bouncing up and down in their cars. But it seems like it wouldn’t work as well on a television. 

Anyhow, this is a very long movie, clocking in at over 200 minutes, so hunker down.  About 15 minutes in, the cacophony of visual and aural and intellectual stimulation was so overwhelming that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to process and put it all together in real time. So the four-hour theater experience, including a 15-minute intermission, was not one of your relax-at-the-movie experiences.

And the film takes on the Big, Big issues, the Holocaust, the camps (the main characters are survivors), remorseless capitalism, immigration, assimilation, covert and overt anti-Semitism, and, perhaps least of all, the place of art and architecture in the emergent industrial age. 

The main character, protagonist, possible hero, and subject of the movie is László Tóth (Adrien Brody), the brutalist himself.  His journey is Brady Corbet’s characterization of America. 

Tóth makes it to America in the opening scene and the first outdoor American shot in the film is an upside-down Statue of Liberty.  (Could this possibly be a metaphor of some sort?). His first stop is the City of Brotherly Love to live with and work for his cousin, Atilla (Alessandro Nivola).  Atilla is the proprietor of a small furniture business and  has reimagined himself as an American Catholic named Miller!  More foreshadowing here as the cousins converse about what is expected in America, what it takes to be accepted in America.   

Tóth isn’t impressed.  He doesn’t seem like the compromising type, and certainly not one to compromise his vision for the sake of bean counters or pencil pushers. Yet, he is also pragragmatic about some of the ends to get to his means, particularly with respect to the use of abundant and inexpensive concrete!  And so away we go.

Much of the movie involves Tóth’s relationship with his new patron, Harrison Lee Van Buren (Guy Pearce).  These patron-artist relationships are always a dicey and touchy area for the artist. Who is paying and what exactly are they paying for? What if they want you to comprimise? What if they delegate oversight to some penny-pinching philistine?  But Van Buren’s real role is that of the industrialist archetype. He represents the post-war economic and construction boom that’s helping Pennsylvania and the United States into the modern age. 

Van Buren’s son, Harry Lee (Joe Alwyn), also features prominently for plot-related reasons, but ultimately he represents the financiers. At one point László asks him, “how does that work exactly?  The company paying themselves to finance?”  

As it says on our masthead, to ask the question is to answer it.

So the politics of the movie aren’t altogether complicated, but László’s relationships with his wife and niece certainly are.  Right off the bus in Philadelphia, Cousin Miller tells László that he has received word that they are alive!  So throughout the first few hours of the movie there are repeeated voiceovers back-and-forths between László and Erzsébet in an attempt to get her to the states.  I must admit that I don’t watch trailers, so I wasn’t entirely sure that she would ever really make it. 

But, spoiler alert, the intermission credits provide a decisive wedding picture that helps secure her immigration visa, so Erzsébet (Felicity Jones) and their niece Zsófia (Raffey Cassidy) make their way over to join László at the Van Buren estate.  There is a lot going on here in terms of the state of their marriage, the state of their Jewish faith, their places in America, to name a few.  There is no easy way to characterize Erzsébet, she understands ambition and ambitions, but she also is reflective and shows gratitude in spots where I’m not sure you would expect it. She is definitely an interesting add and a welcome riposte to Corbet’s otherwise simplistic American caricature.   

The other main and recurring character is Gordon (Isaach De Bankolé), who László meets in a food line early on in the movie. Gordon’s role seems to be to provide opportunities for the script to explore László’s character and humanity. He often shows up right as László is responding to a new plot development. 

And what of the Brutalism?  Huh.  I guess I will continue to reflect on that question as I continue to process all of this.  My big takeaway is that the movie is a commentary on the economic and cultural response to World War II coming to a close.

I think the acting is splendid, Brody really is great.  I’m not sure who else might have pulled this off.  Felicity Jones earns her money, too.  I also loved Salvatore Sansone as Orazio in the Italy scene –– “dangerous work.”  The entire sequence in Italy is just remarkable.  There is so much to like.

The verdict. I thought this was a great movie to watch, though it isn’t a great movie.  I do recommend you head to see it on the big, big screen if you can.  It was loud in there, too!  Make a day of it.   

A shout out to Dr. B for braving this one with me.  He didn’t get up and leave or doze off, so I think he liked it, too.

The Return

I stayed alive for this?!?

The odyssey. Odysseus. Ten years away at the Trojan war, ten years to get back. Past the Cicones, the Lotus Eaters, the Cyclops (“Nobody” tricked him!), the Wind God, Circe’s Island, to Hades and back, the singing Sirens, through Scylla and Charybdis, on to the Isle of the Sun God and to Caylpso’s Island. What a trip!

Ithaca. Queen Penelope raising the son, Telemachus, keeping the many suitors at bay. Famously weaving a funeral shroud by day, covertly undoing it at night. For 20 years! The suitors weren’t the sharpest group.

Setting the stage for the return. Just not setting the stage for The Return.

While Penelope was unwinding, Odysseus found his way to Phaeacia, where he recounts his tales to King Alcinous and the Phaeacians — I actually wrote a college term paper on how this penultimate stop served as a transition from the fantastic back to the more mundane toil of life in Ithaca (not exactly an original thesis, I know). It was the sea-smart Phaeacians that help Odysseus find his way back to Ithaca.

None of this makes it into The Return, unfortunately, especially the part about Odysseus talking a lot. Instead, The Return focuses solely on Odysseus (Ralph Fiennes) back in Ithaca to (presumably) reunite with Penelope (Julia Binoche). I say presumably here because Odysseus of The Return is a troubled, broken shell of a man, and not at all in a talking mood. He has misgivings about his time as a warrior and his heroics in the Trojan War. He can’t muster up the courage to confront the suitors and reunite with Penelope. He is seemingly all alone — there is no sign of the goddess, Athena, who has been his #1 fan and protector over the past 20 years. The entire movie, in fact, is a godless affair, and not in a good way!

The movie does capture Odysseus’ renuion with his loyal dog, Argos. My recollection is that Odysseus passes by on his way back to the palace and Argos looks up from the dung heap, notes his master’s presence, wags his tail, and passes on from this life. The Return doesn’t let him off that easy, instead extending into several minutes of pointlessness before finally letting Argos go. Even so, on behalf of L&D, I will say we wish we would have checked out of the theater when Argos passed on.

Revisionist Odyssey didn’t work for us. If you are looking for action, drama, intrigue, tension, emotion, suspense, you best look elsewhere. This is one of the worst viewing experiences in the L&D canon.

Gladiiator

Is that Siskel or Ebert?

Did you notice the title has the Roman numeral II in the middle of it? Indeed, that is about the most subtle part of the Gladiator remake. This is the second Ridley Scott project in recent memory — Napoleon being the other one — where it seems like it would have worked better as an eight-to-ten part Max or Netflix series. But instead we get sloppy storytelling that sets up a variety of spectacular visual sequences.

If you are familiar with Gladiator, you can see where this movie is going from the length of the Roman empire away. The charasmatic warrior Lucius (Paul Mescal) is captured by legions led by General Acacius (Pedro Pascal) and then sold into gladiatorial servitude to the enigmatic Macrinus (Denzel Washington himself!). Lucius turns out to be exceptional at killing man and beast and makes his way to the Colloseum. General Acacius and Macrinus have sketchier motives, I guess we’ll have to see about all of that. And we are introduced to the decadent emporer tandem, Geta and Caracalla. Lucilla (Connie Nielson) shows up and seems concerned about the fate of Rome. Contrived drama. Big finish.

With Gladiator, we all knew Maximus (an in-shape Russell Crowe) was pals with Marcus Aurelius and had been unjustly railroaded. He reluctantly did his killing to get his chance for vengeance, “in this lifetime or the next.” The big difference here is that there is some mystery surrounding who the actual protagonist is — is it the gladiator? General Acacius? Denzel? Lucilla? The fratelli imperatori?

The bad news is that if you haven’t seen Gladiator, it might be a little difficult to follow along. The good news is that it doesn’t really matter. This movie is the battlefield and the Roman Circus. Ridley Scott gives us a naval assault and a great siege to open the movie. He gives us a gladiator mounted on great rhinosoraus (hat tip to a classic Bugs Bunny short for the rhino’s fate). He turns the colleseum to a great, shark-infested naval theater. This is definitely one of those “see it in the theater” type movies because they spent a lot of money making this look spectacular.

That is, if you want to see it at all.

Poor Things

There are two things L&D want you to know about Yorgos Lanthimos’ Poor Things, out in theaters just in time to disrupt your holiday season.  

First off, it is a masterpiece.

Second, it is not for everybody.

In fact, it might not be for most people.  It is full of sordid characters, blasphemy, torture, maiming, dismemberment, houses of ill repute, objectionable animal husbandry, live-action surgery, graphic sex, and a lot of things that could be dealbreakers for you that possibly didn’t even register for me.  And in many cases what is implied in the script is even worse than what we actually see on the screen.  I admit to some squirming throughout and covering my eyes and wincing at least twice.  It is probably not a great holiday movie choice for you and the kids.

On the other hand, the production values are extraordinary, at least three movie stars are at their best (or better), and the story is cerebral in more ways than you can count on one hand. 

The movie begins with an in-color shot of Emma Stone taking a nosedive off a bridge and into the drink.  What follows is not a flashback, but does initially revert to black-and-white with Stone awkwardly walking, playing, eating, urinating, etc… in a cognitively primitive state.  She is within the confines of the home of a heroically patient yet grotesquely disfigured Dr. Godwin Baxter, played by Appletonian Willem Dafoe (!).  “God”, as his inner circle immodestly addresses him, is a pure empiricist — a surgeon or a man-of-science of some sort.  

L&D were huge fans of Emma Stone’s performance in The Favourite, another Lanthimos film, so we were expecting good things. But five minutes into this one I was pretty confused as to what was going on, and thought to myself that there is no way Stone’s character can carry this movie. Boy was I way off in that initial assessment. I was also not expecting Mark Ruffalo to show up and attempt to steal the show with a bravado performance. But a bravado performance it is, with his portrayal of the the rakish Duncan Wedderburn.   

And then there is Dafoe. For a horribly disfigured guy who is on the front-end of surgical innovation, it is a pretty understated performance. But as we were leaving the theater, we were debating whether this was the best performance of his career.  Although the movie does not reveal the backstory on the heavy scars covering his face, we have enough clues to put together the likely source.  It becomes more and more heartbreaking as the movie goes along.  

So to sum up, a crazy feminist science fiction steampunk storyline, an abundance of edgy content, several great performances, a number of big laughs, and a visually challenging yet gorgeous backdrop.  

In short, a masterpiece.  

L&D were duped into paying full price for this one, but it was still way over the bar. I wouldn’t be surprised if we catch this one again before it leaves the theaters.  

Cocaine Bear

In the not too distant past, L&D headed off to the late Marcus Tuesday screening to take in what was certain to be a memorable event, however it went, and it went exceedingly well.

“How good could a movie called Cocaine Bear be?” you ask.

Well, the L&D mantra of late is “To ask the question is to answer it.” Cocaine Bear is exactly as good as it can be, it’s hard to imagine that it could have been any better. It’s ridiculous, it’s funny, it’s thrilling, it’s gross, it’s surprising, it has star power, it’s remarkable across the board.

To say the movie is based on “true events” is akin to saying The Wizard of Oz is based on true events — indeed, a young woman got caught in a storm and hit her head once. As for the rest, well.

The intertwining plotlines fall somewhere between serviceable and solid. Keri Russell gets top billing as the mom tracking down her cheerfully truant explorer daughter and pal (Matthew Rhys sneaks in, as well). Isiah Whitlock, Jr. has cop buddy detail, he’s the one chasing down the big lead. Margo Martindale puts on a tub of lipstick as the lonely ranger setting a honey trap. There is a smattering of young park thugs who get more than they bargained for in the affair. And it’s Ray Liotta himself as the exasperated crime figure in what was his last major role.

There are a number of laugh out loud moments, though laughter did not seem uniform throughout the theater. The opening scene with the drug runner gleefully tossing bricks of coke out of the plane is surprisingly hilarious. The entire EMT sequence is surprisingly inspired . And the finale featuring Liotta shows some surprising intestinal fortitude.

So big ups from L&D, if you think you might like Cocaine Bear, you should head out and see Cocaine Bear.

Where the Crawdads Sing

Is that the Metascore?

Where the Crawdads Sing ** I am guessng this is a pretty good book. I saw it on a list of great books for novice mystery readers, possibly because this isn’t a conventional mystery, so I thought I would round up the gang and see it. The biggest mystery of the night turns out not to be the who done it, but rather was that really only two hours and five minutes? Ugh.

I like this movie a little more upon reflection than I liked it watching it. The acting is pretty stellar, I think, and the movie is beautiful. That said, it was painful to sit through. If you are looking for insight above what you might get on the Hallmark channel, you will have to look elsewhere. So with all this had potentially going for it, I am going to lay the blame on the script and the director for not tightening this up. Metascore 47 and should sink from there.

Small Town Wisconsin v. The Metascore

L&D haven’t quite regained our stride yet in churning out the reviews with all the triathloning and assorted world traveling, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t kept our stride in hitting the theater. But it seems that the disconnect between what we are seeing on the screen and what the Metacritics are telling us seems to be growing more acute. So here is the &D-half of a bundle of recent films for your consideration.

Downton Abbey: A New Era **  What information does a Metactric score of 63 convey here? Not much, unfortunately. Most of the reviews emphasize how “fans of the series” might enjoy the pomp and the camp and the big clothing budget and the French countryside. Fan or not, this production in no way threatens to turn into a good movie. If you are familiar with the series, this is watchable. If not, forget it. Dominic West as the dashing Guy Dexter warrants an extra half star.

Hustle **½ A straight-to-Netflix production with Adam Sandler as a basketball scout that travels the globe looking for the uncut gems of the basketball world. You know that guy you play noon-ball with? With a little roadwork and some helpful tips from Adam Sandler, he could be playing for the Celtics! This one answers the question of how many cameos and popular-culture references can you jam into 100 minues and still call it a movie? Answer: Quite a lot. An entertaining movie, but not a terribly tight or believable script. The best part for me is that Sandler does an excellent job portraying someone who is trying to be funny but isn’t. Metascore of 68 is generous, with 10-15 of those points undoubtedly coming in garbage time, so to speak.

Eiffel *** This is a nice contrast to the Downton Abbey reviews, with a lowly 46 for its Metascore. This one also features remarkable production values and some pretty impressive feats of strength as the eponymous tower goes up. The storyline is improbable and at times problematic, and the movie had some pacing problems in its second half, but this is a solid effort that is quite a bit better than Downton Abbey goes to France. C’iest la vie.

Elvis **½ An ambitious three-hour long spectacle that tries to do ten things and does two or three of them well. Austin Butler in the lead role has some super great moments, and the first Vegas show is awesome. But what you learn here is that the film makers either don’t know too much about Elvis or they don’t want you to know because that would ruin their film. Tom Hanks as the Colonel is easily the worst thing about this movie. Whose idea was that? Overall, you will probably like this so I recommend that you go see it. If you have a thing for big-budget music vidoes, you should definitely go see it. Even so, Metascore of 64 is pushing it.

Top Gun: Maverick *** This is approximately as good as the original in my estimation, and it works as a stand-alone project. Very loud and very serviceable action. Bump it a down a half star if Tom Cruise is a distraction for you. Metascore of 78 is generous, but not egrigious.

Thor: Love and Thunder *½  On the plus side, Christian Bale is a pretty good villian and Russell Crowe has a moment or two as the Big Guy. Oh, Matt Damon, that is kind of amusing. On the negative side, pretty much everything else. I got up in the middle to do my business and Dr. B was worried that I was walking out of the movie and abandoning him. Metascore of 60 is at least 20 points too high.

Small Town Wisconsin *** In what is not exactly a love letter to his home state, director Niells Mueller characterizes working-class rural America (focusing on a twenty-mile permimeter in and around Milwaukee). The New York Times is the only source to weigh in at Metactric, concluding that the film “is not sufficiently distinctive to rise above the standard-issue cinematic contemplation of the arguably poignant state of the white male American screw-up.” Screw up isn’t a terribly sympathetic description of a main character who is a second-generation (at least) alcoholic and child-abuse victim, but there you have it. The Metascore is 60, and I think that’s probably about right.

The Batman

What the hell was that?

The question constitutes the quick take from our L&D special guest, who joined us for the world premier of The Batman Thursday evening.

My answer? That was a limited Netflix-type series condensed down into three hours and change. There are clearly four or five separate episodes here, replete with the cuts between ‘episodes.’ Indeed, at one point I thought the movie might be over, it had that natural break feel about it. But, after lingering a beat or two, we moved on.

I am endorsing this one because there was so much I enjoyed about it and I will enjoy discussing it with other Bat-fans. For example, I liked how the entire musical score is built around Nirvana’s “Something in the Way” (which serves to tell you pretty much all you need to know about the mood of this one). I loved Robert Pattinson in the leading role; he put the goth in Gotham, for sure. Now there’s a Dark and gloomy Knight for you! There was good action throughout, including the sequence where muzzle flash provided the only light. And a great car chase!

But the verdict is that this is a case of trying to do too much and, as a result, not doing enough things well, and leaving too many things undone. Case in point, there is a great To Live and Die in LA chase sequence, but why were they even chasing him? What was the payoff? (Those familiar with the White Knight story arc should certainly see my point here). The purpose was that they needed to introduce the Batmobile (I doubt that constitutes a spoiler). Yes, following the chase there was a pretty fun back and forth with Gordon and The Batman here during the grilling, but ultimately this defied credulity even moreso than usual.

But my biggest gripe is certainly that the writers grossly overestimated the payoff from their “big” plot reveals. I am not sure exactly how we were supposed to respond when that news came out, but my response was: Yawn! I saw that movie already! So pretty disappointing on that front, pretty good story, not a great story.

Plenty of starpower, including Peter Sarsgsaard, Zoë Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright, Paul Dano, John Turturro, Andy Serkis, and Colin Farrell. That’s a lot of characters to introduce, develop, and complete a story arc on. The Batman doesn’t, and couldn’t, without another few hours of exposition. I listed the actors in descending order of how I thought of whether the character worked, from Sarsgaard as the DA to Farrell as a pretty forgetable Penguin. What a waste of makeup and acting talent (though I am definitely the minority view on this assessment). Kravitz as Catwoman is certainly remarkable in the true sense of that term. Another something to chat about on the ride home. I thought Dano was good in spots as the Riddler, but, meh.

So, there you have it, a dark, brooding eight hours of entertainment mushed down to three. If you go to these types of movies, you will almost certainly find something to like. But this feels more like The Dark Knight Rises than The Dark Knight in terms of the overall quality and payoff. It’s going to be in theaters for a while, so you’ll have plenty of time if you want to see this one.

Jackass, Forever

He is no hero who never met the dragon… Only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it wins the hoard, the “treasure is hard to attain.”

That’s Carl Jung, of course, but it may as well have been said by Johnny Knoxville, the long-time ringleader and curator of the improbable but unmistakable Jackass serial.

Knoxville and his dragon-facing gang are all back, older, no wiser, and seemingly more willing than ever to put their testicles on the line for the cause. The entry fee to be part of this team is to take some gratuitous punishment — preferably to the greater genital region — and then writhe in pain whilst your brethren bust a gut laughing at you &/or adding further insult to your injury.

And often more injury to your injury, as well.

Knoxville, of course, is the mastermind who dupes, defiles, and degrades his merry gang of ostenstibly trained stuntpersons (what sort of training do you suppose one receives for bellyflopping into a cactus garden?), making him seem rather demented and sadistic. But it is Knoxville himself who stands tall in the path of a raging bull, unflinchngly taking its best shot.

And then he does it again because he didn’t quite get the right angle on the first take.

Remarkably, the series doesn’t seem to be running out of ideas — or perhaps it is not so remarkable, opportunities to be a jackass are pretty bountiful! But they do it so, so well! Something as simple as donning marching band attire and dutifully stepping on a high-speed conveyer belt is a recipe that continues to deliver low-brow, low-tech, high-impact laughs.

Not from me, of course, but these antics do seem to tickle L’s funnybone.

Jackass, Forever also adds some new faces here, too, faces willing to take a scorpion stinger or a couple of snake bites for a laugh. That’s the price of admission to be part of this group.

As per always, some of the most hilarious segments involve misdirection: the guy steeling himself to take a hockey puck to the crotchal area, but instead the first shot goes to the face. That’s pretty high comedy. The subsequent cupshot is almost beside the point.

But we’ll take it anyway.

That is, he’ll take it anyway.