Psychotic Bear(s) Alert

In theaters for this coming Tuesday we have a bio of Emily Brontë, the spiritual journey of a Christian hippy, and a pair of psychotic bears (see above). I vetoed the Ant superhero movie — Paul Rudds me the wrong way — and L probably saved us both by vetoing what appears to be a bungling new attempt at Marlowe.

What we have seen hasn’t been that great, either. Here are two blurbs:

80 For Brady **½ This is not a good movie despite its 53 on Metacritic. For $5 you get some great actors (Fonda, Fields, Tomlin, Moreno, and Harry “Clash of the Titans” Hamlin) and a few laffs. There are one or two scenes that are well put together, but it is mostly mush. For the L&D guide to Metacritic scores, see our earlier post on giving free passes to novelty movies and tv-to-theater productions that “fans of the genre will love.” Extra half star for Guy Fieri.

A Man Called Otto ** It was a not a big decision for a Man Called Otto. Let’s just say that L&D agree to disagree on this one. Tom Hanks isn’t a credible grump. And when is the last time it was sunny in Pittburgh during the winter?

Preview: 50 Shades Marathon

This Friday premieres the newest of the Fifty Shades productions, Fifty Shades Freed.   The film focuses on how Christian and his new wife Anastasia come to terms with being billionaires and living in the lap of luxury.  It is unlikely that L&D will be reviewing this one, but while perusing the Thursday options, I noted a Marcus Special:  Not only are there special sneak previews of Freed on Thursday night, there is also a 5 hour and 44 minute Fifty Shades Marathon leading up to these premieres

Although that in itself is a bit puzzling, I was especially puzzled by the minimal variation in the showtimes:


Can’t make the 1:30 p.m. showing?  No problem, we have another one going off at 1:31 p.m.

Although there are many questions is my mind at this point, the two that probably have the greatest overlap with your’s are:  (1) does anyone actually go to a Fifty Shades marathon?, and (2) what’s with the showtimes?

It is a rare but joyous occasion when a social scientist can answer two questions with one data point.   Here it is, the current seating selection for the 1:30 p.m. showing:


Not a lot to choose from.

And so it goes for the 1:31 p.m. showing, as well, though there is still some availability at 1:32 p.m.   The demand for the Fifty Shades Marathon is so overwhelming that it has expanded to fill up three theaters!

Guess you will have to catch that documentary on one woman’s quest to save a baby seals pod from toxic chemical exposure on video.

I will leave it to other branches of the social sciences to unravel the allure of the shared experience of watching Christian and Anastasia intermingle over a six-hour period: there are so many questions here, it seems like a sociology dissertation waiting to happen.  It is also unclear why the marathon is such a hot ticket, while plenty of seating remains available for the Appleton premieres of Freed at 7:00 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 9:30 p.m., and 10 p.m.

Then again, maybe these are the types of questions where I am better off not knowing.

Enjoy the shows!